TALKBACK – The cutegirlbutts Top 100 Films of 2013

This is exciting. It’s been a long time coming; especially knowing about it since the early stages and just having to wait and wait, but now it’s here. The cutegirlbutts one hundred best films of 2013!!!

I was expecting this to be a super fun experience to read through, and it was, and then things started to go downhill. I had to stop because actually I was getting really confused and sad. Reading through this list of one hundred movies was slowly making me increasingly introspective as I thought about the stuff I’d watched that year, and the last time I’d really connected with a movie.

Sure, I’d watched some stuff I’d had a good time with, but in a way, the last year or so was spent marginalising the process of watching movies into this really passive activity to do whilst I was working or really tired. Because of that I’d been almost exclusively watching the mid-range action genre. And because those movies aren’t great, but there’s nothing to compare them to, I started to just be like well yeah, I guess this isn’t awful so it must be good, then every so often I’d make an effort to go and see something proper and it would just seem amazing by comparison. But even then it would be like big budget action.

There’s something really important about watching stuff you can connect with and really get something out of. The last thing that really did that was Safety Not Guaranteed, back in 2012, and I can’t rate that highly enough. Every little storyline really got to me, and it’s such a great feeling to be like oh I can relate to this, and i know what that’s like, and when I finish watching this, i want to get up and be the best version of me that I can. Jeff Who Lives At Home too, to an extent, had a lot of beats like that. Movies that get inside your head and mean something to you are really important.

But for the past maybe 16 months I have basically been watching Olympus Has Fallen and it doesn’t feel great. And reading through this list and thinking about all the stuff I put time into has made me reconsider the way that I’m watching and engaging with this thing that can be so powerful and important to you if you let it, but also just really mundane and passive if that’s what you choose. It’s made me want to be a better person.

I hope you get something similarly profound from it.

I made notes as I went through the list one by one. Spoilers, I’ve only actually seen about a quarter of them, so there’s a lot of uninformed opinions on my part. I’ll put a bracket by the ones I’ve watched with where they fall on my top 29. So from the top:

100(23). Ass backwards – Shit, this is even on the list? I really wanted to like this because JDR, but it’s just not very good at all, and they didn’t thank Jason in the credits

99(20). Identity Thief – 99 seems harsh but then again, it’s not very good

98. Rapture- Palooza – Don’t know what this is but it sounds like This Is The End on a budget with a more likable cast

97. Hours – RIP Paul Walker. Never heard of this. Doesn’t sound great

96. Carrie – I’ve been struggling with getting around to watching this for month and this isn’t exactly helping

95. Jobs – The poster looks awful. I didn’t realize this was a real film. Thought it was a TV movie or some shit

94(27). Star Trek: Into Darkness – Like fuck this. Seriously fuck this movie. I understand that technically it’s a better movie than like ass backwards, but fuck this movie

93. Oz the Great and Powerful – This looked fun and I have nothing against it I just also don’t care at all

92. Snitch – There are like 30 of this movie released every year and I already watched the other 29 and I don’t think I like the rock as a lead, probably won’t watch it

91. Texas Chainsaw 3D – How many of these are there now? I’m sort of impressed it made the 100 cause it looks shitty?

90(26). Kick Ass 2 – Shit. Wasn’t expecting this. Actually matches up with my feelings on it. Felt like I had liked it a lot less on initial chats. I really wanted to like this. I thought the original was great, but this time around it felt like they didn’t really have anything of substance, and kept resorting the sudden bursts of shock and emotional manipulation to make you feel like you were engaging. And the cgi in that fucking van scene?

89. The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman – What is this? I would have probably watched this based on the title if I had been told about it

88. Parkland – This sounds kind of serious and sad but also Zac Efron is in it?

87(13). Olympus has fallen – the epitome of my problem with watching movies. I have a lot of goodwill towards this movie. It’s kind of simple and straightforward and it does just what you expect and I quite like that sort of idiot action genre

86. Escape plan -This one looks fun. I really hope it comes on Netflix so I can watch it

85. The to-do list – Oh I have this to watch. I’m not expecting great things but it’s a nice cast and concept

84. Hell-Baby – It was between this and ass backwards and I chose to watch ass backwards. Maybe I shouldn’t have

83. Trance – This seems really low? Like it’s hitting an average rating well above these others and it looked good? I want to see it?

82(11). This seems low too. I was kind of bummed about this, I really wanted a solid wolverine movie and it’s got its moments but you know :/// Jackman is so great and stuff. The fact that it’s my 10th favorite movie of the year and I didn’t even like it that much highlights the problem.

81. Don Jon – When all the trailers were coming out I was excited about this and then it just simmered out. I like JGL but everyone’s poor reactions put me off

80(21). World War Z – Ugh. The world war z of movies released this year. The epitome of fine

79. Clear History – Sounds silly. Not interested.

78. The Railway Man – My grandparents said this was good. So it’s got that going for it

77. ACOD – It’s a shame cause the cast is great and Adam Scott’s a cutie

76. The invisible Woman – Ummmmm…

75. Enders Game – Was this meant to be the start of a big franchise but then there was a homophobic thing?

74(19). Elysium – I feel like this should be lower. I’d say it was a huge disappointment but I went in with low expectations. There was so much potential and interesting stuff going on in this movie, and it kept getting my hopes up, but then they just avoid it all and follow this mediocre semi explained plot. Looks great. Not great

73. The Last Stand – Was going to watch then saw Johnny Knoxville second billed

72. The Heat – People liked this right?

71. The Fifth Estate – I feel like this was meant to be a bigger deal than it was?

70(17). Oblivion – Moon for idiots

69(12). Despicable Me 2 – It was nice, certainly not as good as the first but I liked the bit where it had the same scene as Riddick

68. Inequality for all – Ok

67. Out of the Furnace – I was meant to go and see this but I went to the wrong cinema. I don’t feel as bad about that now

66. Crystal Fairy and the Magical Cactus – Netflix keeps telling me to watch this

65. Rewind This! – Looks fun, didn’t know it existed, and won’t watch it

64(6). RIPD – Fuck that. This is a great movie hidden inside a bad movie. Seriously, with a like, 10 minute, look over the script from not an idiot, and 80% less ADR, this could have been amazing

63. Pain and Gain – I hear idiots saying this is really good

62. Lone Survivor – America the movie

61. Stoker – This came out ages ago! My dad said it was good I think

60. Mama – Seems about right for a horror

59. GI Joe Retaliation – Hahaha no thanks

58(15). The Worlds End – I think I go the opposite way on this to an extent? I felt like the Simon Pegg going through stuff plot line was half developed, and when it came down to a point where it could actually mean something, they avoided it. I also felt like while the writing and the delivery was excellent throughout, the action sequences just dragged on. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t NOT enjoy this, and I’m not worried about ant man, it just felt a bit shallow?

57. Filth – Pid’s flat

56(7). Monsters University – Oh this was fun. I went to see it with actual children and they were a nightmare. It’s not the first one, but it’s a super enjoyable animated movie

55. 2 Guns – Had this for ages. Don’t know why.

54(18). This Is The End – This was fine. I think I wanted it to be much better than it was and then I was disappointed. It’s a reverse world war z

53(???). The Day of the Doctor – What? This counts? Okay? Well yeah this seems reasonable. I was a bit disappointed cause I just wanted like, an hour of my mind being blown and then it was just quite enjoyable which felt underwhelming.

52. Cutie and the Boxer – Sounds weird

51(16). The Lone Ranger – I have all the good will in the world for this movie. I though the performances were solid, hammer was v likeable and it looked great. I want it to be good so much. It’s just so long. I believe that within those 149 minutes, is a very snappy and enjoyable 90-100 minute movie that wouldn’t have felt rushed at all, but I’d totally recommend watching it as it is! That train scene, despite its insane length, IS great! I just… Go watch it. Watch it when you have a few hours with nothing else to do like on a train and it’ll be great!

50. Blackfish – I keep getting told to watch this and I just don’t want to

49. Hunger Games: Catching Fire – The first one was okay

48. Nymphomaniac Volume II – I don’t even understand what this is

47(3). Alan Partridge; Alpha Papa – I think this was really the only point where I severely disagreed with the ratings. The majority of what I watched this year was poor quality that I didn’t particularly like and I have no problem with it being displayed as such, but I thought this was great. I mean obviously it’s super subjective and saying ’it’s funny’ is never going to hold up because it’s totally up to you what you laugh at. I watched a lot of Alan Partridge when I was a kid. My mum had weird ideas about what children should and shouldn’t watch and that was required viewing. This felt like that stuff I used to love and it never seemed to lag or lose pace. Whilst it’s not the sort of thing where you’re going to really connect or get something deeper out of it, I had a great time and I’m a big fan of this movie.

46. The Kings of Summer – Sounds like an e4 show

45. Curse of Chucky – I’m sort of annoyed because this sounds like it’s actually good, but I had to watch two of the other fucking chucky sequels in the run up to this and they were both awful

44. Fruitvale station – Sounds nice

43(10). Side Effects – This was a good movie. Seeing it was good

42. Dirty Wars – I don’t really watch documentaries because they don’t have Jensen Ackles in and this sounds like a documentary made for idiots like me

41. A field in England – Trailers for this were awful but I’m starting to think I might like it?

40. About Time – That guy from that show

39. Philomena – Reviews for this were insane, really wanted to see it

38(9). I didn’t enjoy pitch black. I know that’s not okay or whatever, but I just didn’t. I did however enjoy chronicles, and I enjoyed this too

37. The Square – More docs

36. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug – I have nothing against this, and this description makes me exited to see it, I just want to watch it at home where I can pause it and take breaks

35. The Great Beauty – Sounds odd

34. 20 Feet from Stardom – I don’t even?

33. The Conjuring – This is 33? I thought you were all about this?

32(5). Thor: The Dark World – Oh I go higher on this. I’m a big fan of the comic genre, and although I feel like this movie takes a little while to find it’s feet, when it does it’s just super fun. There are points, especially early on, where it feels really TV and I was stressed but it gets passed that nicely and the third act is a non-stop good time.

31. Pacific Rim – Didn’t see it, sure it’s fun

30. August: Osage County – I don’t understand this but apparently it’s good

29. Enough Said – Yep

28. Nymphomaniac Volume I – So this is much better than the second bit?

27. Fast & Furious 6 – I’ve only seen one f&f. But I love everything about the series and I’m really happy it exists. I can’t wait to watch this film when I finally catch up with all of them

26(8). Evil Dead – I really enjoyed this film. I enjoyed the original a lot, and from the moment I was introduced to the idea of this one I was on board. I was too scared to see it cinematically but I had a great time viewing on DVD. Practical effects look great and the The Evil Dead elements are super fun

25. Saving Mr. Banks – I kept forgetting this existed and I really want to watch it. It looks like a feel good movie

24. Drinking Buddies – Shit. This is unexpected. I was put off (stupidly) watching this by the mediocre ratings. Should have seen it. Cast is great and I’m sure I’d have enjoyed

23. Captain Phillips – I didn’t think I’d like it either, maybe I should watch it

22. In a World – This was another drinking buddies situation. Even my dad said it was worth watching (I think) and I just didn’t get to it

21. Rush – I guess there was nothing really drawing me to this but I’m sure it’s great to watch

20. Behind the Candelabra – I didn’t think this would be good but then everyone started telling me it was good. I’m probably never going to watch this

19. The Way Way Back – Really want to watch this. Fucked up by not. I’m an idiot. Will watch soon

18. Frozen – I’m not really into a lot of the Disney films. Just not my thing. Whatever

17. The Spectacular Now – I heard about this but I didn’t know what it was. Will probably watch it

16. 12 Years a Slave – I don’t know, I’m sure it’s good, I just have trouble sitting down to watch stuff that’s difficult right now. I’ll probably watch it in a few years and think its great like the hurt locker

15. Prisoners – I had this on DVD and I lost it and I was bummed about that. Would like to watch.

14. The Wolf of Wall Street – I had no interest in this, and maybe part of that was everyone around me blowing it well out of proportion. I’ll watch it at some point but no rush

13. Short Term 12 – My dad said it was good. Apparently he was right

12. Blue Jasmine – Nothing about this movie makes me want to watch it, but I guess at this point I should just watch all of them

11. All is Lost – Never even heard of it. Sounds intense

10. The Act of Killing – I heard a lot about this and I didn’t care because documentary. Maybe I should stop being like that

9(4). Iron Man 3 – This was great. I refer to the cutegirlbutts description

8. Blue is the Warmest Colour – A lot of people were talking about this and somewhere between the three hours and the subtitles I was like no and then forgot about it

7(1). Dallas Buyers Club – In a year where I had previously watched entirely garbage movies, this was just insane. It was like a new level of film. While I can totally agree with some of the points made: ‘it may not have some of the best music, cinematography things like that. None of that will really stand out to you’ (The pause fade bit really jarred for me) – That’s not what you’re seeing this for. You’re seeing it because it’s great actors telling an intense story through some perfect performances. Jared Leto in particular – and I’m a big non-fan – just kills it so hard. That performance is beautiful and charming and really made me feel inside. I can’t eloquently sum it up, but if you haven’t seen it you should watch it, and I loved it.

6. Before Midnight – I don’t know what this is. Is this like a thing?

5. Nebraska – Oh I wanted to watch this because I quite like will forte. Maybe I will

4. American Hustle – Really wanted to see this. Just didn’t. Sad about that.

3. Inside Llewyn Davis – I didn’t really know what this was, but I’m sure it’s good. Justin timer lake.

2. Gravity – I think I avoided this because it was like oh see this in 3d n shit, and it wasn’t really doing much to make me want to watch it. I don’t know what I even want to watch it now.

1(2). Her – Her makes me feel weird. There are times in my life when watching this would have really got to me and I would have fucking loved it. But when it came to seeing it, I enjoyed it and I really appreciate it but I just didn’t engage like I could have. And maybe that’s down to the fact that I’ve become so unaccustomed to getting involved with movies emotionally or maybe I’m just not at a point where I can do that or whatever. But this movies great. It’s sweet, it’s beautiful, I really loved the score, and there’s no question that it’s going to hit so close to home. I just feel like I really fucked up my own experience with it and that makes me feel weird. I hope at some point I can come back to this and really get everything out of it that it has to offer.

Quick overview of the shit I watched this year that didn’t make the list (out of 29):

29. A Good Day to Die Hard – just don’t even fucking bother

28. Man of Steel – giant fucking mess, Snyder does Nolan for three hours and it’s boring and nobody cares

25. Now You See Me – clever film with a twist for idiots. Last half hour is the biggest fuck you to an audience possible. Cant wait for the sequel.

24. Red 2 – ruining your memory of Red

22. Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters – Should have been really fun and stupid but it just dragged and Famke sucks the energy out of everything and anything

14. Parker – this was fine. Statham punches and shoots stuff. whatever.

thanks for your time. go watch some stuff you actually care about. or don’t. just do something you enjoy okay?

@judelowes

xoxo

The cutegirlbutts Top 100 Films of 2013

Here we go guys, out of a few dozen trips to the cinema and a total of just short of 150 films from 2013 watched. I’ve curated my top 100 films of 2013. I’m never gonna be happy with the ordering that is here and i’m already glancing over it now thinking it is so so so wrong, but the general structure is pretty solid to how I feel about all these films. Obviously I might not have seen a film you like “blah blah” this is just my thoughts on a small percentage of some 8000 films that came out or whatever number it is. Okay so sit back enjoy and don’t get mad with me if this list is really really dumb. (the list will return in 2014).

I was going to host the list on here and write about every film and all this and have these posters you flicked through. But I got lazy and other real work started piling up so it’s now hosted on my IMDb page and some of the films have my thoughts below them. There is no real reason for what film does and doesn’t get some thoughts written about them and eventually i’ll add something to each of them. But for now, here you go. Hit the link and read the list in reverse order from #100 down to #1!!!

CLICK HERE FOR THE CUTEGIRLBUTTS TOP 100 FILMS OF 2013!!!!!

February 2014: TV and Films watched and Video Games Played

Title Rating
1 Monsters University 8
2 Dexter: The Damage a Man Can Do 8
3 Cutie and the Boxer 8
4 WWF SmackDown!: Episode #12.161 7
5 Banshee: Bloodlines 7
6 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: Into the Negative Zone 6
7 Breaking Bad: 4 Days Out 9
8 That’s My Boy 2
9 Jack and Jill 1
10 Excision 6
11 LOL 3
12 Parkland 5
13 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: Red Rover 4
14 Inequality for All 7
15 Dirty Wars 8
16 The Act of Killing 9
17 Portlandia: Missionaries 8
18 Before Sunrise 10
19 Saturday Night Live: Melissa McCarthy/Imagine Dragons 6
20 Escape Plan 5
21 @midnight: Episode #2.16 7
22 Ultimate Spider-Man: House Arrest 6
23 Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee: The Over-Cheer 9
24 Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee: Larry Eats a Pancake 8
25 The Fifth Estate 6
26 The Square 8
27 Dexter: About Last Night 8
28 Before Sunset 10
29 Girls: Only Child 8
30 Looking: Looking at Your Browser History 8
31 Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Operation: Broken Feather 9
32 New Girl: Prince 8
33 Ultimate Spider-Man: The Man-Wolf 6
34 Marvel One-Shot: All Hail the King 9
35 The Invisible Woman 6
36 @midnight: Episode #2.14 6
37 @midnight: Episode #2.7 6
38 WWF Raw Is War: Episode #22.5 7
39 How I Met Your Mother: Sunrise 8
40 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mikey Gets Shellacne 7
41 Intelligence: The Rescue 6
42 Helix: The White Room 7
43 Talking Dead: Too Far Gone 6
44 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: T.R.A.C.K.S. 9
45 Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 6
46 The Great Beauty 8
47 20 Feet from Stardom 8
48 The Kings of Summer 7
49 Before Midnight 9
50 Black Sails: II. 5
51 Archer: Archer Vice: House Call 8
52 Olympus Has Fallen 5
53 Gangster Squad 3
54 Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Party 8
55 Arrow: Heir to the Demon 7
56 Portlandia: Nina’s Birthday 8
57 A Field in England 7
58 WWE Main Event: Episode dated 5 February 2014 5
59 @midnight: Episode #2.17 6
60 Ultimate Spider-Man: Swarm 6
61 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: The Venom Inside 7
62 Jack the Giant Slayer 5
63 The Last Stand 6
64 Only God Forgives 4
65 The Host 2
66 G.I. Joe: Retaliation 6
67 A Good Day to Die Hard 3
68 Ultimate Spider-Man: Itsy Bitsy Spider-Man 6
69 Rewind This! 8
70 WWF SmackDown!: Episode #12.162 7
71 The Following: Trust Me 8
72 The Tomorrow People: Things Fall Apart 6
73 The Big Bang Theory: The Locomotive Manipulation 6
74 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Target: April O’Neil 8
75 @midnight: Episode #2.18 6
76 Ultimate Spider-Man: Journey of the Iron Fist 7
77 Ultimate Spider-Man: The Incredible Spider-Hulk 7
78 How I Live Now 5
79 The Lego Movie 9
80 RoboCop (2014) 5
81 @midnight: Episode #2.19 6
82 Death Comes to Pemberley: Episode #1.3 6
83 Dexter: Go Your Own Way 9
84 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Slash and Destroy 8
85 I Haven’t Got a Hat 6
86 Point Rationing of Foods 5
87 The Bear That Wasn’t 7
88 Behind the Tunes: Tish Tash – The Animated World of Frank Tashlin 6
89 Porky’s Romance 6
90 Porky’s Party 6
91 Monkey Business 7
92 The Maria Bamford Show: Moving 8
93 The Maria Bamford Show: Replacement 8
94 The Maria Bamford Show: Exit 8
95 True Detective: Who Goes There 10
96 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe: Episode #2.5 8
97 Philomena 8
98 Dexter: I Had a Dream 8
99 Almost Human: Unbound 8
100 Banshee: The Truth About Unicorns 7
101 Looking: Looking for $220/Hour 8
102 Girls: Free Snacks 8
103 Ultimate Spider-Man: Ultimate Deadpool 6
104 Ultimate Spider-Man: Guardians of the Galaxy 8
105 A Case of You 4
106 Hell Baby 6
107 Game of Thrones: The Bear and the Maiden Fair 8
108 All Quiet on the Western Front 8
109 Rapture-Palooza 6
110 Blackfish 8
111 Orange Is the New Black: Fool Me Once 8
112 Portlandia: Squiggleman 8
113 Insidious: Chapter 2 5
114 WWF Raw Is War: Episode #22.6 7
115 Intelligence: Patient Zero 6
116 Almost Human: Perception 7
117 The Spoils of Babylon: So Sweet the Bells 7
118 Star Trek: The Man Trap 7
119 Ultimate Spider-Man: Venom Bomb 7
120 WWF Raw Is War: 3-Hour Viewer’s Choice Raw 9
121 WWF Raw Is War: Episode dated 11 January 1993 7
122 Ultimate Spider-Man: The Parent Trap 7
123 Game of Thrones: Second Sons 9
124 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Good, the Bad and Casey Jones 9
125 Black Sails: III. 4
126 The Following: Family Affair 7
127 Horse Feathers 7
128 Aningaaq 7
129 Hancock: The Bedsitter 8
130 New Girl: Exes 8
131 Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Full Boyle 8
132 Orange Is the New Black: Can’t Fix Crazy 9
133 Helix: Aniqatiga 7
134 New Girl: Sister 7
135 Beyond the Mat 9
136 WWE: History of the WWE 7
137 WWE Main Event: Episode dated 12 February 2014 6
138 The Rise & Fall of ECW 9
139 @midnight: Episode #2.21 7
140 Epic 4
141 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe: Episode #2.6 8
142 House of Cards: Chapter 1 9
143 House of Cards: Chapter 2 9
144 Portlandia: Off the Grid 8
145 Star Trek: Charlie X 7
146 WWF SmackDown!: Episode #12.163 7
147 The Call 5
148 Movie 43 1
149 Sochi 2014: XXII Olympic Winter Games 7
150 Breathe In 7
151 The Truth About Emanuel 4
152 Breaking Bad: Over 9
153 House of Cards: Chapter 3 8
154 House of Cards: Chapter 4 8
155 Resident Evil 4
156 Shingeki no Kyojin: Zetsuba´ no naka de nibuku hikaru -jinrui no saiki 1- 5
157 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Birds of a Feather 6
158 WWE Superstars: Episode dated 14 February 2014 6
159 @midnight: Episode #2.22 6
160 Ultimate Spider-Man: Stan by Me 6
161 Snitch 5
162 Toy Hunter: Chi Toy Town 4
163 The Counsellor 4
164 Parade of the Award Nominees 6
165 Frances Ha 9
166 As I Lay Dying 5
167 Broad City: Working Girls 8
168 Breaking Bad: Mandala 9
169 Breaking Bad: Phoenix 9
170 House of Cards: Chapter 5 8
171 Portlandia: The Temp 8
172 Crystal Fairy & the Magical Cactus 8
173 @midnight: Episode #2.23 6
174 Ultimate Spider-Man: Blade 7
175 Her 10
176 Portlandia: Soft Opening 8
177 My Mad Fat Diary: Alarm 5
178 Justice League: War 7
179 Looking: Looking for the Future 8
180 Broad City: The Lockout 8
181 Helix: Survivor Zero 7
182 Banshee: Armies of One 7
183 Star Trek: Where No Man Has Gone Before 8
184 WWF Raw Is War: Episode #22.7 8
185 Portlandia: Alexandra 8
186 Ellen: The Ellen DeGeneres Show: Bradley Cooper/Askhat Singh 6
187 Black Sails: IV. 5
188 Girls: Beach House 8
189 Machete 7
190 Cavemen 1
191 House of Cards: Chapter 6 8
192 Breaking Bad: ABQ 9
193 Ultimate Spider-Man: The Howling Commandos 6
194 Utopia: Episode #1.4 7
195 Pitch Perfect 9
196 WWE Main Event: Episode dated 19 February 2014 6
197 Intelligence: Size Matters 5
198 Someone Marry Barry 3
199 WWE NXT: Episode dated 19 February 2014 7
200 Portlandia: No-Fo-O-Fo-Bridge 8
201 Date and Switch 6
202 Portlandia: Blackout 8
203 Back in the Day 1
204 Supernatural: Family Remains 7
205 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Dines Out 8
206 Justified: The Devil You Know 8
207 Life of Pi 8
208 Lust for Love 4
209 WWE Superstars: Episode dated 21 February 2014 6
210 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Clean-Up Club 5
211 Ride Along 3
212 WWF SmackDown!: Episode #12.164 7
213 Bridesmaids 9
214 Reasonable Doubt 1
215 Ultimate Spider-Man: Game Over 7
216 Nymphomaniac: Volume I 9
217 Nymphomaniac: Volume II 8
218 JLA Adventures: Trapped in Time 6
219 Les Miserables 7
220 The Hangover 7
221 The Devil Wears Prada 5
222 27 Dresses 4
223 The Hangover Part II 4
224 Pretty Woman 7
225 In Her Shoes 3
226 @midnight: Episode #2.24 6
227 Ultimate Spider-Man: Second Chance Hero 7
228 Conan: Episode #4.51 6
229 The Hunt 8
230 True Detective: The Secret Fate of All Life 9
231 Almost Human: Disrupt 7
232 WWE Elimination Chamber 7
233 Archer: Archer Vice: Southbound and Down 8
234 @midnight: Episode #2.26 6
235 Comedy Bang! Bang!: Michael Cera Wears a Blue Denim Shirt & Red Pants 8
236 Comedy Bang! Bang!: Seth Rogen Wears a Plaid Shirt & Brown Pants 8
237 Blast Corps 7
238 Pokemon Stadium 7
239 Pazuru boburu 3DX 7
240 Mario Kart 64 9
241 American Dad!: Dr. Klaustus 3
242 Hemlock Grove: The Order of the Dragon 3
243 Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23: A Reunion… 5
244 The Monuments Men 4
245 Broad City: P***Y Weed 9
246 @midnight: Episode #2.25 7
247 Banshee: Ways to Bury a Man 7
248 Black Sails: V. 5
249 Helix: Bloodline 7
250 Masters of Sex: All Together Now 9
251 The Following: Reflection 8
252 Taken 7
253 WWF Raw Is War: Episode dated 24 February 2014 8
254 How I Met Your Mother: Rally 7
255 Looking: Looking in the Mirror 8
256 Inside the Actors Studio: Episode #6.10 7
257 Inside the Actors Studio: Episode #7.2 6
258 Quantum of Solace 5
259 Girls: Incidentals 8
260 True Detective: Haunted Houses 9
261 Game of Thrones: The Rains of Castamere 10
262 House of Cards: Chapter 7 8
263 Breaking Bad: No Ma¡s 9
264 Arrow: Time of Death 8
265 Californication: Pilot 8
266 Supernatural: Criss Angel Is a Douche Bag 7

January 2014: TV and Films watched and Video Games Played

  Title Rating
1 American Horror Story: The Sacred Taking 8
2 The Michael J. Fox Show: Homecoming 6
3 Breaking Bad: Gray Matter 8
4 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade 8
5 Sherlock: The Empty Hearse 9
6 Masters of Sex: Catherine 9
7 Once Upon a Time: Broken 8
8 House of Cards: Chapter 1 9
9 How Video Games Changed the World 7
10 Regular Show: Out of Commission 7
11 Veronica Mars: Welcome Wagon 7
12 Modern Family: The Future Dunphys 7
13 Modern Family: Flip Flop 7
14 Almost Human: Blood Brothers 8
15 House of Cards: Chapter 2 9
16 House of Cards: Chapter 3 8
17 BBC News 6
18 Breaking Bad: Crazy Handful of Nothin’ 9
19 The Shawshank Redemption 9
20 Dexter: Our Father 8
21 Supernatural: Lazarus Rising 8
22 Grey’s Anatomy: Dream a Little Dream of Me: Part 1 8
23 Grey’s Anatomy: Dream a Little Dream of Me: Part 2 7
24 Naruto: Shikkaku!? Kiken! Maedaoshi! Haran bukumi no daihonsen! 6
25 Geordie Shore: Episode #1.5 3
26 Naruto: Kumo wa ii naa… yaruki zero no otoko 7
27 Naruto: Gekitotsu! Konoha mai suna ugomeku toki 6
28 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: A Star Is Born 6
29 All in the Family: Christmas Day at the Bunkers’ 8
30 Geordie Shore: Episode #1.6 3
31 All in the Family: Edith’s Problem 8
32 Scandal: Hell Hath No Fury 7
33 Community: Repilot 9
34 Community: Introduction to Teaching 9
35 A Christmas Story 8
36 The Polar Express 6
37 Charlie Brooker’s 2013 Wipe 8
38 The Good Wife: Executive Order 13224 7
39 Doug Stanhope: Beer Hall Putsch 8
40 Pain & Gain 6
41 Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends: Body-Building 8
42 How I Met Your Mother: Bass Player Wanted 8
43 Grey’s Anatomy: Here Comes the Flood 7
44 Grey’s Anatomy: Brave New World 7
45 You’ve Been Framed: Episode #28.1 4
46 ITV News 6
47 Breaking Bad: A No-Rough-Stuff-Type Deal 9
48 Frozen Planet: Summer 8
49 Silent Witness: Commodity: Part 1 6
50 Silent Witness: Commodity: Part 2 6
51 Breaking Bad: Seven Thirty-Seven 9
52 Enough Said 8
53 Insidious 6
54 Curse of Chucky 7
55 The Butler 7
56 Mastermind: Celebrity Mastermind 2012/2013 Episode 10 4
57 Antiques Roadshow: Charlecote Park 5
58 Sherlock: The Sign of Three 10
59 Drinking Buddies 7
60 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Karai’s Vendetta 8
61 The Daily Politics 6
62 Grey’s Anatomy: There’s No ‘I’ in Team 7
63 Fruitvale Station 8
64 Percy Jackson & the Lightning Thief 4
65 Going Overboard 1
66 Bram Stoker’s Legend of the Mummy 2 1
67 Carnosaur 3: Primal Species 2
68 Grey’s Anatomy: Life During Wartime 8
69 American Hustle 8
70 Pointless 7
71 The Walking Dead: Internment 8
72 Golden Ninja Warrior 3
73 Channel 4 News 7
74 Breaking Bad: Grilled 9
75 Location, Location, Location 5
76 Breaking Bad: Bit by a Dead Bee 8
77 Super Mario 3D World 8
78 Jackass: Episode #2.1 6
79 Hercules in New York 3
80 Carrie 6
81 Rules of Engagement: Indian Giver 5
82 Octopus 2
83 Octopus 2: River of Fear 2
84 The Walking Dead: Live Bait 7
85 Pointless 7
86 The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug 8
87 jOBS 5
88 Grey’s Anatomy: Rise Up 7
89 Grey’s Anatomy: These Ties That Bind 7
90 Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa 4
91 Despicable Me 2 7
92 Grey’s Anatomy: In the Midnight Hour 7
93 Grey’s Anatomy: All by Myself 8
94 Grey’s Anatomy: Wish You Were Here 7
95 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: The Magical Place 8
96 12 Years a Slave 9
97 BBC Ten O’Clock News 6
98 You’re Next 6
99 About Time 8
100 Stoker 7
101 August: Osage County 7
102 Dexter: Finding Freebo 8
103 Grey’s Anatomy: Sympathy for the Devil 7
104 Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Christmas 8
105 Pointless 7
106 BBC News 6
107 Breaking Bad: Down 8
108 Community: Basic Intergluteal Numismatics 9
109 Silent Witness: Coup De Grace: Part 1 6
110 Miranda: Three Little Words 3
111 Silent Witness: Coup De Grace: Part 2 6
112 The Good Wife: Death Row Tip 7
113 Castle: Nanny McDead 7
114 Parks and Recreation: Second Chunce 8
115 American Horror Story: Head 9
116 Ginger Snaps 9
117 Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters 3
118 Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 7
119 Last Vegas 4
120 Spiders II: Breeding Ground 2
121 X-Men: First Class 7
122 Breaking Bad: Breakage 8
123 Breaking Bad: Peekaboo 9
124 Captain Phillips 9
125 Shark Attack 2
126 A.C.O.D. 7
127 Trance 7
128 Short Term 12 9
129 Welcome to the Punch 5
130 Sherlock: His Last Vow 9
131 American Horror Story: The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks 8
132 Shark Attack 2 2
133 Grey’s Anatomy: Stairway to Heaven 7
134 Grey’s Anatomy: Beat Your Heart Out 7
135 Modern Family: New Year’s Eve 8
136 Modern Family: Party Crasher 8
137 The Public Enemy 7
138 Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me 6
139 Mission: Impossible 7
140 Girls: Females Only 8
141 True Detective: The Long Bright Dark 9
142 The Ghoul 5
143 The Godfather: Part II 9
144 Girls: Truth or Dare 8
145 New Girl: Clavado En Un Bar 7
146 The Ninja Squad 3
147 Supernatural: Are You There, God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester 7
148 All Is Lost 8
149 Inside Llewyn Davis 9
150 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe: Episode #2.1 8
151 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: Chardee MacDennis: The Game of Games 9
152 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The ANTI-Social Network 9
153 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Gets Trapped 9
154 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia: How Mac Got Fat 8
155 Portlandia: Mixology 7
156 Portlandia: One Moore Episode 9
157 Bob’s Burgers: Food Truckin’ 7
158 Bob’s Burgers: Dr. Yap 7
159 The Frighteners 8
160 West of the Divide 5
161 Duck Soup 7
162 Game of Thrones: Dark Wings, Dark Words 8
163 The Good Wife: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot 8
164 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Seeds 8
165 Archer: White Elephant 8
166 12 Angry Men 9
167 Shingeki no Kyojin: Sono hi -shiganshina kanraku 2- 5
168 Digimon: Digital Monsters: Enter Flamedramon 4
169 Paradise, Hawaiian Style 5
170 Castle: Hedge Fund Homeboys 7
171 The Addams Family: The Addams Family Splurges 6
172 Arrow: Blast Radius 8
173 The Rare Breed 7
174 Castle: Hell Hath No Fury 7
175 Sleepy Hollow: The Golem 7
176 Enlisted: Pilot 3
177 Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Pontiac Bandit 8
178 Supernatural: In the Beginning 7
179 The Oscars Nominations 2014 5
180 Austin Powers in Goldmember 5
181 Once Upon a Time: We Are Both 7
182 Dallas Buyers Club 9
183 The Spoils of Babylon: The Foundling 7
184 How I Met Your Mother: Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra 5
185 American Horror Story: Protect the Coven 8
186 Banshee: Pilot 8
187 @midnight: Episode #1.16 8
188 Family Guy: Peter Problems 3
189 The Simpsons: Steal This Episode 8
190 The Good Wife: Parenting Made Easy 7
191 Justified: The Gunfighter 8
192 Community: Cooperative Polygraphy 9
193 Parks and Recreation: New Beginnings 8
194 Banshee: The Rave 7
195 Justified: Cut Ties 8
196 The Good Wife: What Went Wrong 8
197 The Addams Family: Cousin Itt Visits the Addams Family 7
198 @midnight: Episode #2.2 6
199 Misfits: Episode #5.6 7
200 Justified: Harlan Roulette 8
201 Portlandia: Cool Wedding 7
202 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Yolk’s on You! 5
203 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Green Candle: Part 1 7
204 The Good Wife: Alienation of Affection 7
205 Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Bet 8
206 The Good Wife: Bitcoin for Dummies 8
207 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Green Candle: Part 2 7
208 The Good Wife: Another Ham Sandwich 9
209 The Good Wife: Live from Damascus 8
210 Doctor Lollipop 8
211 Intelligence: Pilot 6
212 Family Guy: Grimm Job 3
213 Halo 2 Multiplayer Map Pack: Making Of 5
214 Misfits: Episode #5.7 7
215 @midnight: Episode #2.3 6
216 The Simpsons: Married to the Blob 7
217 The Big Bang Theory: The Hofstadter Insufficiency 6
218 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: The Collector 6
219 Supernatural: Metamorphosis 7
220 Dexter: The Lion Sleeps Tonight 8
221 Supernatural: Monster Movie 9
222 Dexter: All in the Family 8
223 The Following: Chapter Two 7
224 The Blacklist: The Good Samaritan 8
225 The Following: The Poet’s Fire 7
226 Dexter: Turning Biminese 8
227 Supernatural: Yellow Fever 9
228 Supernatural: It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester 8
229 Saturday Night Live: Drake 7
230 The Hunger Games: Catching Fire 7
231 Banshee: Meet the New Boss 8
232 Sinkin’ in the Bathtub 6
233 The Big Bang Theory: The Deception Verification 6
234 @midnight: Episode #2.1 7
235 The Spoils of Babylon: The War Within 8
236 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Pulverizer Returns! 8
237 Supernatural: Wishful Thinking 8
238 IMDb: What to Watch: Banshee 5
239 Jack Frost 5
240 Once Upon a Time: Lady of the Lake 7
241 Supernatural: I Know What You Did Last Summer 7
242 Dexter: Sí se puede 8
243 Hostages: Invisible Leash 5
244 Helix: Pilot 8
245 Helix: Vector 8
246 Intelligence: Red X 6
247 Sleepy Hollow: The Vessel 7
248 Looking: Looking for Now 8
249 True Detective: Seeing Things 9
250 Girls: She Said OK 8
251 Black Sails: I. 7
252 The Spoils of Babylon: Kicking the Habit 8
253 @midnight: Episode #2.4 6
254 The Big Bang Theory: The Scavenger Vortex 6
255 Killer Women: La Sicaria 5
256 After Earth 3
257 Fast & Furious 6 7
258 The Wolf of Wall Street 9
259 Supernatural: Heaven and Hell 7
260 The Simpsons: It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge 7
261 The Walking Dead: Dead Weight 7
262 Sleepy Hollow: The Indispensable Man 7
263 Portlandia: Grover 7
264 Sleepy Hollow: Bad Blood 8
265 Intelligence: Mei Chen Returns 6
266 Archer: Archer Vice: A Kiss While Dying 8
267 The Blacklist: The Alchemist 7
268 How I Met Your Mother: Unpause 8
269 Helix: 274 7
270 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe: Episode #2.2 8
271 @midnight: Episode #2.5 6
272 The Big Bang Theory: The Raiders Minimization 7
273 Almost Human: Arrhythmia 8
274 Marvel’s Avengers Assemble: Planet Doom 6
275 The Big Bang Theory: The Workplace Proximity 6
276 The Tomorrow People: Pilot 7
277 Masters of Sex: Brave New World 8
278 Portlandia: No Olympics 7
279 Portlandia: Brunch Village 8
280 The Big Bang Theory: The Proton Displacement 7
281 Almost Human: Simon Says 8
282 The Tomorrow People: In Too Deep 6
283 Almost Human: You Are Here 7
284 The Tomorrow People: Girl, Interrupted 7
285 The Following: Mad Love 8
286 Banshee: Half Deaf Is Better Than All Dead 8
287 It’s Got Me Again! 6
288 The Tomorrow People: Kill or Be Killed 7
289 Once Upon a Time: The Crocodile 8
290 The Following: The Siege 8
291 The Walking Dead: Too Far Gone 9
292 Brooklyn Nine-Nine: The Ebony Falcon 8
293 The Following: The Fall 7
294 The Big Bang Theory: The Itchy Brain Simulation 6
295 The Tomorrow People: All Tomorrow’s Parties 7
296 Portlandia: Cops Redesign 8
297 Breaking Bad: Negro Y Azul 9
298 The Following: Let Me Go 7
299 The Big Bang Theory: The Thanksgiving Decoupling 7
300 The Big Bang Theory: The Hesitation Ramification 6
301 New Girl: Birthday 8
302 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: All About the Ego 5
303 @midnight: Episode #2.6 6
304 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Parasitica 8
305 The Tomorrow People: Sorry for Your Loss 7
306 Once Upon a Time: The Doctor 7
307 The Tomorrow People: Limbo 6
308 Broad City: What a Wonderful World 8
309 The Big Bang Theory: The Occupation Recalibration 6
310 Arrow: Blind Spot 9
311 Once Upon a Time: Tallahassee 8
312 Once Upon a Time: Child of the Moon 8
313 American Horror Story: Go to Hell 9
314 The Big Bang Theory: The Romance Resonance 6
315 Portlandia: Cat Nap 7
316 The Tomorrow People: Thanatos 6
317 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe: Episode #2.3 8
318 Once Upon a Time: Into the Deep 7
319 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: Savage Land 6
320 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Operation: Break Out 8
321 @midnight: Episode #2.8 6
322 The Big Bang Theory: The Discovery Dissipation 6
323 The Maria Bamford Show: Maria Gets a Job 7
324 The Maria Bamford Show: Kicked Out 8
325 The Maria Bamford Show: Search for Meaning 8
326 The Maria Bamford Show: Ready for Love 9
327 The Maria Bamford Show: Mothers’ Day 8
328 The Maria Bamford Show: Showtime 8
329 Naruto: Arashi o yobu otoko!! Sasuke no Gejimayu-ryuu taijutsu! 5
330 Talking Dead: Indifference 5
331 Talking Dead: Internment 5
332 Talking Dead: Live Bait 5
333 Talking Dead: Dead Weight 6
334 The Greatest Event in Television History: Hart to Hart 8
335 Naruto: Date ni okureta wake ja nai! Kyuukyoku ougi Chidori tanjou!! 5
336 The Greatest Event in Television History: Too Close for Comfort 8
337 Community: Geothermal Escapism 9
338 Parks and Recreation: Farmers Market 8
339 Game of Thrones: Walk of Punishment 8
340 The Greatest Event in Television History: Bosom Buddies 8
341 Grown Ups 2 2
342 Turbo FAST: African Queen/Mega Snails 6
343 Turbo FAST: Ants Ants Revolution/Clamsquatch 7
344 Animal Mechanicals: Turbo-Bean Trouble 2
345 Zig and Sharko 5
346 Caillou: Caillou’s Hiding Place 3
347 Bernard: A Day in the Country 2
348 Monster Math Squad: Woofies Goes Walkies 2
349 Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse: Closet Princess 2
350 Eliot Kid: The Invasion of the Poupix 3
351 Ben 10: The Return 6
352 Ben 10: Be Afraid of the Dark 6
353 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: Incredible Shrinking Hulks 5
354 @midnight: Episode #2.9 6
355 Bosom Buddies: Pilot 6
356 Saturday Night Live: Lady Gaga 5
357 The Maria Bamford Show: Crevasse 8
358 The Maria Bamford Show: Bread 8
359 In a World… 8
360 The Necessary Death of Charlie Countryman 3
361 The Big Bang Theory: The Cooper Extraction 6
362 The Maria Bamford Show: Dark 10
363 Banshee: The Kindred 7
364 The Tomorrow People: Death’s Door 6
365 Dynamo: Magician Impossible: Episode #1.3 2
366 Wild Arabia: The Jewel of Arabia 8
367 Ultimate Spider-Man: The Lizard 7
368 Once Upon a Time: Queen of Hearts 8
369 Castle: A Chill Goes Through Her Veins 7
370 Silent Witness: In a Lonely Place: Part 1 6
371 Silent Witness: In a Lonely Place: Part 2 6
372 Breaking Bad: Better Call Saul 9
373 Ultimate Spider-Man: Electro 7
374 Utopia: Episode #1.2 7
375 Helix: Single Strand 8
376 Game of Thrones: And Now His Watch Is Ended 9
377 The Maria Bamford Show: Will 8
378 Ultimate Spider-Man: The Rhino 6
379 The Spoils of Babylon: The Rise of the Empire 7
380 @midnight: Episode #2.10 6
381 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: Hulks on Ice 6
382 The Maria Bamford Show: Oh CD 8
383 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Showdown: Part 1 8
384 The Tomorrow People: The Citadel 6
385 The Maria Bamford Show: Faith 8
386 The Maria Bamford Show: Death and Happiness 7
387 The Maria Bamford Show: Boredom 8
388 Saturday Night Live: Josh Hutcherson/HAIM 6
389 The Following: Welcome Home 7
390 The Maria Bamford Show: Acting Out 8
391 Ultimate Spider-Man: Kraven the Hunter 7
392 Free Birds 5
393 Once Upon a Time: The Cricket Game 7
394 @midnight: Episode #2.11 4
395 Portlandia: Motorcycle 7
396 Once Upon a Time: The Outsider 7
397 Game of Thrones: Kissed by Fire 9
398 Lone Survivor 7
399 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Showdown: Part 2 8
400 Once Upon a Time: In the Name of the Brother 7
401 Banshee: Wicks 8
402 Once Upon a Time: Tiny 7
403 Ultimate Spider-Man: Hawkeye 7
404 The Addams Family: The Addams Family in Court 6
405 Saturday Night Live: Jonah Hill/Bastille 7
406 WWE Royal Rumble 4
407 Looking: Looking for Uncut 7
408 The Simpsons: Specs and the City 7
409 Portlandia: Feminist Book Store 10th Anniversary 7
410 True Detective: The Locked Room 9
411 Family Guy: Brian’s a Bad Father 4
412 @midnight: Episode #2.12 4
413 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: Wendigo Apocalypse 5
414 The Tomorrow People: Rumble 6
415 Naruto: ‘Konoha Kuzushi’ Shidou! 5
416 Channel 4 News 7
417 How I Met Your Mother: How Your Mother Met Me 9
418 The Blacklist: The Cyprus Agency 7
419 Archer: Archer Vice: A Debt of Honor 8
420 WWF Raw Is War: Episode dated 27 January 2014 7
421 Girls: Deep Inside 8
422 Intelligence: Secrets of the Secret Service 6
423  @midnight: Episode #2.13 8
424 Banshee: Behold a Pale Rider 7
425 The Following: Love Hurts 7
426 Banshee: We Shall Live Forever 7
427 The Following: Guilt 7
428 Banshee: Always the Cowboy 7
429 The Maria Bamford Show: Horror 8
430 Banshee: A Mixture of Madness 8
431 The Following: Whips & Regret 7
432 The Following: The Curse 7
433 Game of Thrones: The Climb 8
434 The Following: Havenport 8
435 Portlandia: Winter in Portlandia 8
436 Banshee: Little Fish 8
437 The Following: The End Is Near 7
438 Once Upon a Time: Manhattan 8
439 The Following: The Final Chapter 8
440 Banshee: The Thunder Man 8
441 Ultimate Spider-Man: Sinister Six 6
442 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: The Skaar Whisperer 5
443 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Mutation Situation 8
444 The Tomorrow People: Sitting Ducks 6
445 Dexter: Easy as Pie 8
446 Arrow: Tremors 9
447 American Horror Story: The Seven Wonders 8
448 The Following: Resurrection 8
449 Charlie Brooker’s Weekly Wipe: Episode #2.4 8
450 Ender’s Game 6
451 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Invasion of the Squirrelanoids 7
452 WWE Main Event: Episode dated 29 January 2014 7
453 Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.: Of Moles and Men 6
454 Banshee: The Warrior Class 8
455 Ultimate Spider-Man: Spidah-Man 7
456 Ultimate Spider-Man: Carnage 7
457 The Big Bang Theory: The Convention Conundrum 6
458 The Following: For Joe 8
459 Community: Analysis of Cork-Based Networking 8
460 Parks and Recreation: Ann and Chris 9
461 The Spoils of Babylon: The Age of the Bastard 7
462 Out of the Furnace 7
463 Portlandia: Take Back MTV 8
464 @midnight: Episode #2.15 6
465 Death Comes to Pemberley: Episode #1.2 6
466 Saturday Night Live: Paul Rudd/One Direction 7
467 Utopia: Episode #1.3 7
468 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Follow the Leader 8
469 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutagen Man Unleashed 8

Why I’m so into Pro Wrestling right now

Hey y’all, I might go over the top on this one you see I recently got really really into Pro Wrestling, the WWE all that. If you’re following this sites parent twitter @cutegirlbutts (and you really should be!), you’ve probably seen a lot of my enthusiasm for the sport and the craft and I thought I’d just put up some of my thoughts on it all and just some of the thoughts I’ve heard about it that I agree with regurgitated through my poor writing style.

Let’s start with the start, any conversation about Pro Wrestling always has someone declaring about how it’s fake and well yeah it’s not really a championship sport it’s a live show/spectacle and a really good one at that. Since I’ve come back into the fold and been watching WWE recently, I’ve been watching it as a TV show it just so happens that this TV show is live and performed. It’s basically the equivalent of something like a Broadway play but for idiots like me, a Broadway play and all the actors do their own incredible stunts. No one’s claiming it’s real in the way you are so stop with that line of thinking before we go any further. It’s a TV show the outcomes are predetermined and there is a script, like TV.

It’s kind of become the one thing I can be really excited about.  It’s this on-going storyline where you watch people slowly become more powerful over years and become the main characters in their own corner of the WWE or the company of as a whole. It’s actually really quite unique. The fact that it’s so dynamic and ever changing is what gets me excited. The closest comparison I can make is to comic books. It’s like the Marvel or DCU (they even refer to it as the WWE Universe in the context of the show A LOT) except things actually change, there is no status quo and a lot of far out things can happen and the cast changes over the years. I can get excited over this because I actually don’t know what’s going to happen yet.

So far I’ve been talking a lot about the storylines of WWE which granted is a bit dumb because it is about the performance art of these people beating each up in the ring and telling a story THROUGH beating each other up in the ring. Some of these top level performers are actually just amazing at throwing each other round the ring and getting hurt (of course they are getting hurt, bodies are being put on the line AT LEAST three nights a week, the ring is not a crash pad, they get thrown of ladders and stuff) and making getting hurt look really entertaining. On Monday Night Raw this week I found myself actually standing up and shouting at the TV as Daniel Bryan took out all three members of The Shield in quick concession in a really fun and entertaining way.

Back to the storylines and the stuff that happens. Something’s that do that happen are very stupid, but the payoffs that happen on things built over a few weeks and sometimes a few years are just amazing and great event television and feel like an explosive season finale moment. When these payoffs roll around you can’t help but get sucked in. Since they’re fighting like 3 nights a week or whatever some characters (some characters, especially the heels, are just so compelling to watch and do really fun things) have faced off multiple times and even within the context of the fights themselves things evolve. Moves and tactics that once worked stop working; the two characters evolve in facing each other and have to learn new things to do. Nothing else is really like this and even if it’s not for you, you have to respect the intelligence and finesse and athleticism that goes into the multi-layered performance art that these Wrestlers bring out every single night.

This might not have made much sense. I just get so excited about even thinking about Wrestling recently so with all the blood rushing to my head this might just be a total mess. I have A LOT of opinions about what’s going on in the WWE at this exact moment but I don’t wanna type about that stuff on here just yet and you can find a lot of those thoughts over on my twitter as they’ve been happening. Still go unfinished pieces to come, I just bashed this out this morning because I felt like it. Later cuties.

I’m Back/Unwanted Thoughts/Just Go With Me For abit

Hey so here’s a new post after a while, Housekeeping first. I know this post isn’t fun like some of the other stories and whatever I’ve posted in the past, but although I do have stuff coming in that style, I’ve just been so lazy on finishing it all and have such a pile of unfinished pieces that when I finish I’ll put up on here. Basically I put myself into a situation where I was like yeah I’m going to do something /find something cool and post about it every week! That backed me into a wall into my own mind and basically I just didn’t want to do that because in a way it HAD to be done.

So basically the structure of this is going to go back to what it SHOULD have been all along. @cutegirlbutts is my twitter, cutegirlbutts.com is the spinoff of that and is just larger format versions of the stuff I think and say on there, so basically this stuff can be anything.

Yeah so what I wanted to do really is post something up here, get the ball rolling again. Basically I’m awake quite a lot of the time and I’m quite a restless guy so I’m quite often out and about doing stuff or thinking stuff or whatever. As a result I end up meeting new people quite a lot for like 10 minute conversations or whatever be it. I write quite a lot of essays and stuff based on stuff reflected back to me and my own thoughts and stuff, so I’ve taken one of the much more easily digestible ones and thrown it in here really. Just something for you guys to think about hopefully talk about, laugh at it/laugh at me? I don’t know just thanks for reading (and the guy who I used to have classes with like 2 years ago who looks like Thor just sat next to me so that’s cool).

You ever had I don’t know when you’re dealing with something that’s traumatic (not traumatic) I’m not trying to be like super melodramatic or over the top here, but I undoubtedly will. You kind of feel like it’s not so what happened physically (even though I mean whatever did happen can be pretty lame) as much as it is the mishandling of your soul.  It’s kind of like when something happens and it’s basically sending you message that you don’t matter and that someone is sending you a signal, the message that you don’t matter, you are my object. That’s the injury, especially if you’re like a sensitive kid or whatever and that carries over?

Thoughts like this, mood swings whatever. You’ve got to recognize them as false flags; it’s a skill that takes a while to learn with lots of practice. There’s so much static noise in your mind with no backing. The process of taking these thoughts down and wrangling them out is hard at first. Regiment a structure in your day, your life and more importantly how you think. Examine your irrational behaviour and you’ll realise how to stop. The most significant thing I’ve done in the past two years of my life is building a watchtower in my own mind and the stupidest thing is failing to tell some of the most important people who had to deal with that process what the hell was going on.

Don’t stop spending time with people because you’re worried you’re going to start acting out or whatever that’s silly? Whatever, some of this is far too vague and edited. Whatever your problem is what I recommend is flood yourself, if it’s something mental just go with it. Sit with someone, interact with people. Have all your thought processes or whatever, let it just get horrible, let it get really bad and peak or whatever and then just discover like nothing happens and then yeah just carry on drinking coffee or whatever it is you guys do?

Just typing thoughts outta my head here. FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER PLEASE.
Fun stuffs gonna come here I promise

Later cuties.

Oh I see an anagram: Talkbacks #2

I don’t believe that I am speaking for myself alone when I say that, as a child, being a spy was the most exciting job opportunity there was. Not that it was really a legitimate job opportunity, but the very idea of it. The secret meetings, the adventures, the hidden notes.

The Writer captures those dreams. It shows us one of the rare moments when the fictional stop being just that, and the bleak underwhelming confusion of their realities. This is long. There’s so much to get into and try to understand, or at least rationalize. There’s a fuckload of stuff going on, so let’s jump right in at the top and get into it:

‘Computor Screens are the image of the beast.’

And here we go, opening, instantly, on both religious AND crazy. It’s not too far removed from the remit of the sane to believe in ‘the beast’. It fits neatly into the hope that there exists something good after death, and if there is something good there must conversely be something bad because balance. It’s the point where you start linking that belief to not sins and misdeeds but the existence of everyday objects that you add the crazy. Computer screens are, in the grand scale of things, fairly low down on the ladder of evil. True, they provide a gateway to a world of horrors and temptations, but does that make them inherently evil in themselves? They accommodate our misdoings helplessly, unable to prevent the acts that they become complicit in. Don’t shoot the messenger.

‘(and TV. Etc)’

And the same applies. I understand the rationale to a degree. Computer Screens, and by that I assume he means the Internet in general, and TV, both show a lot of things. And some of those things are bad. I don’t know what the official ratio is on bad to good media, but i feel like, in the grand scheme, good is coming out on top. To condemn the entire world of visual media is to condemn not just the sinful and bad but also the inspiring and good.

‘worshiping them and not believing in the lord Jesus is exactly what you need to end up in the lake of fire.’

And then we get to that bit. Biblical punishments and shit. I mean to an extent this sentence rationalises its predecessor. Literally ‘worshipping’ these screens would fall under the sin category as commanded in the Ten Commandments. Worshipping false idols. But do the two elements work together or independently? Will worshipping them but also believing in the lord Jesus keep you out of the lake of fire? As far as I can ascertain, biblically the lake of fire acts as sort of a second death. To quote Revelation 20:14 (I picked that one cause it’s 2014 lol) ‘Then Death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire.’ The lake of fire serves as a second death but also the death of both Death and Hades.  And I’m sure I could get really deep into that but that’s off topic.

‘Look at the Sun with your eyes. Closed.’

This is poor advice, but I really like the cadence of the sentences.

Look till all you see is an orange screen after about 30-40 seconds – keeping your eyes closed – bend your head down and cover your eyes’

This paragraph is really different tonally from the previous one. It’s light, and a much more interactive feeling. There must be something serious that it’s leading up to right? It must be about to re-enforce the opening statement right?

‘* with a hand – look into the dark. Black lines Horrible eh *closed eyes’

‘Horrible eh’

Yeah! Looking at the sun and then shutting your eyes isn’t very nice! Thanks for pointing that out! I can’t decide if the ‘eh’ is gloaty, showing off his previous knowledge of things that hurt your eyes, or a sort of disheartened eh, almost more of an ugh. But regardless it’s a huge tone shift from the bold lake of fire opening!

‘REV let him with the wit divine and the 1 (number) of the beast for- it is (the 2 same number)/ (3 as a man) 4 and his number is 666.’

There is no logic to this. It’s presented like the increase in numerical value makes total sense. Like you should be following it going, oh yes, that does make 666! So if I can try to break it down; the divine is 1, or 1 is the divine number of the beast who’s number is 666? There’s no mention of 5, which I thought pertained to something too. There’s so much shit about the number of the beast and the mark of the beast, and I’m too uneducated about my bible devils to know what is and isn’t relevant, but I doubt even the most versed would be able to make sense of this line.

1. Pick a number
2. Yes there the same number
3. As a man is osama’

Again, the logic behind this is spurious. What does ‘the same number’ refer to? Is it 666? In which case, actually unless the number you picked WAS 666, they are NOT the same number. But that actually seems reasonable when you compare it to the third step, which deviates entirely from the numerical format. I assume it refers to Osama Bin Laden, who must have been compared to the devil countless times, although later lines do throw this into slight confusion. Is this essentially saying that Osama was the devil, and through some sort of unquestionable math it can be proved?

So when you pick your number Its just one six.’

So that answers the logic behind the numbers. Your number was 6. That’s what you choose when you can pick a number. That’s how it is.

That is 1 6 2016 bin blair larden will return and with the liccadas the lord between the winters of 2017’

Again. Math. The arbitrary number and additions of such are really hard to keep up with or make any sense of, and don’t seem to relate to any existing biblical stuff. He’s freestyling. The inclusion of a Tony Blair reference gives it this really confusing out-dated feel. The crossing out seems to suggest a realization of that fact. So ‘Bin Larden’  will return with the ‘liccadas’? What are liccadas? Because even Google doesn’t know. It intelligently points me to cicadas, which would absolutely make sense. So lets change it to that.

So Bin Laden will return with cicadas, like some sort of old time plague, between the winters of 2017. But the inclusion of the word the lord. Does he return as the lord? Or with the lord. And if together are they in a collaborative or competitive fashion? I don’t think any of the note makes perfect sense, but this to me is one of the hardest parts to understand.

I am he with the double edged Sword that proceideth out of my mouth.’

This is written in a different hand, and it takes on a completely different style. It’s concise and considered as a sentence. Written in first person and in a typical biblical style. Revelation 1:16 reads: ‘In his right hand he held seven stars, and coming out of his mouth was a sharp, double-edged sword.’ This refers I believe to Jesus. So the writer at this point is either claiming to be Jesus, or quoting the phrase from somewhere. But as far as I can see it’s an original phrasing. Gets no hits up on Google. Was this written at a moment in a moment of divine possession?

‘So whats this? What’s it mean whats the sword represent? why is a sword comin.’

And then this final line. So I already addressed what it means, but it doesn’t seem like the writer knows. So I wonder, despite his seeming prior religious knowledge whether it’s all been quite superficial. Or I don’t really know. How deep do people get into old scripture? It seems like he’s misunderstanding the quote. Seeing it as a negative rather than the bold Jesus-like statement. This really confuses things. Did someone else leave the note? Perhaps who he intended to leave it for? I can’t understand it but I really want to.

And then it ends.

‘Oh I see an anagram’

Like… Yay? Where? Which bit is an anagram? Is it the whole sentence? Or part of that quote? Why doesn’t he explain it rather than simply casually stating?  I love anagrams as much as the next guy. Probably more. I’m all about font arrangement. All I want is to see the anagram. It’s such a strange way to sign off. I feel like, with it being the last line, it must have been left to be deciphered. It ends there as a start point for the next writer?

The note is a journey. Confusing at times and equally as fascinating. It would be amazing to find and I feel like it shouldn’t be the end. I want more answers and explanations. If there was any way for @cutegirlbutts to find and talk to this guy again that would be amazing, or if anyone can solve the anagram or… I don’t know. What happens next?

This was great to read and be able to try to understand. I hope you liked it. And remember, ’til next time:

Check the blog, watch twitter, think about cutegirlbutts.

@judelowes